*Lost and Found*

“There she is... in blue. Simple and true, innocent, divine, like a dream, vanishing… She can’t be mine.” He had said, when he introduced her to me for the first time.

He- My friend, my best friend Siddharth.

*

Today is the last day of our college. Our farewell day. Everyone is busy exchanging cards, gifts, hugs, tears, memories… Siddharth was sad, agonized, watching aimlessly towards the corridor. I could see the gloom in his eyes, the restlessness on his face, the nervousness in his actions… I could sense it.

Samya was the girl whom he loved with all his heart, for the past three years but he always denied to confess his love to her. “I don’t want to hurt her. It’s okay if she remains oblivious to my feelings, I just don’t want to be the saddening part of her memories, forgotten with time.” He used to say. But today, I could see the inevitable pain of losing his love in his eyes, his hands cupped to hold his weak, somber face, I could sense his heart beating unevenly in anxiety.

In all these years, I, Siddharth and Samya became the best of buddies. We were like a little crazy gang but I and Siddharth were closer as friends than Siddharth and Samya were. I shared a great bond with Samya, though.

****

My eyes followed his eyes and obviously Samya was the destination. I tried to see Samya through his eyes. She looked angelic. Her almond shaped hazel eyes painted beautifully with kohl, her long silky hair dancing on the tunes of the ecstatic breeze, amidst the chaotic farewell party atmosphere, the loud thumping music deafening the ears, noisy banter of students, my eyes captured her pure, pink, polite lips, smiling shyly. I looked at Siddharth, tears trickled down his eyes. “I love her babe… I love her very much.” I heard his quivering voice. I felt a lump in my throat. Every noise ceased, every moment stopped, every voice choked, everything else dissolved into nothingness.

“I can’t be so selfish, I know Samya likes him too!” I heard myself saying.

I saw Siddharth walking slowly, like a sloth, with heavy steps towards the exit gate.

“Siddharth….” I heard my voice, loud and clear. I saw myself running towards him.

“Where the hell are you going? Just go to her and say it.” I said catching my breath. I was still not sure if I really mean to say this or my guilty conscience was making me say it all.

“I won’t. I don’t want to hurt her.” He said in a low sinking voice.

“Shut up, you Idiot! How can you give up like this? Love happens once in a lifetime and it’s the best thing that ever happens to us- mortals. How can you let go of it just because you THINK that she will get hurt if you tell her about your feelings. And what if she likes you too?” I snapped, astonished on my apostolic sentences, jumping out from within, without my permission.

“She doesn’t, I know.” He said, dully.

“I do, Siddharth” I heard Samya’s voice ringing beside me.

Those three words penetrated my being, numbing all my senses. I felt something breaking inside. I felt my heart bellow in pain. Unlike Siddharth, I wasn’t living in denial. I knew the fact well that I and Siddharth are meant to be best friends, teasing each other, poking, making fun of each other, roasting each other’s head, laughing at stupidities and not for exchanging gifts, walking on the beach hand-in-hand or talking volumes with eyes and smiles.

I hated dupatta-suit, I hated high-heels and most of all I hated the word ‘babe’. What a crappy word is it? ‘babe’…. Phew! And Siddharth had this annoying habit of using it every now and then. “You are my best friend, I love you babe” He said whenever he was happy. I loved my Jeans-T-shirt look, my pony tucked high and yes i loved cricket like crazy <3 MSD <3 ! Yes I was different, not that girly… “It’s just that you aren’t a boy!” Siddharth has said once.

But, this nerdy, boyish girl fell in love with her best friend, knowing the fact well that he loves someone else. It’s not that I was jealous or anything. It just ached inside. We rocked together, then why not us?

“Oh let it be! I love my independence any way and babe, Acceptance is the Key.” I heard my murmur.

“What! Did I just say Babe? Dude, seriously?!” I heard my voice again.

I looked at Siddharth. He was crying like a little baby while Samya was laughing like a mad girl. And yes, they were looking “Aww… so cute!” together.

I smiled. I breathed deep and approached for them. It was now time for a group hug.

“Bug Bug Bug,

 What the heck!

Don’t disturb,

It’s a Group-Hug.”

We sang our group-hug song which I found awesome, Samya found funny and Siddharth, crappy.

Oh no matter who found it what, we sang it with all our soul today, probably for the last time, in college.

Happy Endings!

P.S. Written on the lines of a friend's post "Somewhere Lost"