*Walls*

I live in a big dark room,

The walls of which are-

Emotions, Tears, Silence and Words.

Emotions is the wall I unwillingly keep walking up to-

with a brewing heart.

Love, Hatred, insecurities…

All being the magnets,

pulling me towards it.

I somehow release myself and run,

run as fast as I can and

I end up breaking into Tears.

Tears- the wall, makes me fall

and I cry.

I cry and cry and let my heart dry.

I hate stumbling down to this wall; I hate its very sight

but this one liberates

and I end up feeling light.

Then, I look up.

I look up to Silence;

the wall, I am fond of.

I sit by Silence mostly,

closing my eyes, musing;

when I am in disharmony with my own self.

I speak to Silence; it speaks to me.

Volumes of talking, without uttering a T.

It helps me sort out the puzzle

that lies within me.

*The Other Half*

If only I could stop his horny gaze, his wickedly smiling eyes.

If only I could stop that creepy touch, on my thighs.

I only I could stop that deliberate bam of his elbow into my chest.

If only I could stop nasty songs yelling loud, demeaning me with dripping lust.

If only I could tell the world that all the women, yes all, are raped daily and they don’t utter a word.

The heart pukes, the mind boggles,

Disgust scandalizes, fury toggles.

If only they knew, we survive through this victimizing daily chore

and when we decide not to give a damn;

to speak up against this exploiting ‘man’

All they comment is- “Oh look! There comes the whore.”

*Mirrors don’t lie*

As I ornate myself for the party,

cartoon-hairpins, smiley earrings, kohl eyes

I stole a look in the mirror,

“What for those ugly pimples” it smiled, wickedly.

I ignored it while I adored my dress-

Royal blue frock gown, frilled collar and a stole to add the grace;

I smiled bright to the mirror

“… or to cover up that extra fat” it snatched the glow from my face.

‘Shut up you moron’, I shouted out loud

I slapped it in anger and left the room.

I hummed some tune to vanish the gloom.

Flickering lights, booze and weed, gals and guys, awed my eyes.

Lovely faces, dirty smiles, bang of the beats, bop giddy…

…and she said it was a birthday party!

I’m scared, I run fast, I reached the washroom,

I see the mirror; I’m relieved.

I closed my eyes, let roll the tears

I breathe in, rotten- smells the air

And, I heard it saying, “you do not belong here”.

Friends lied, so did my mind, and now my eyes cry.

All the world’s a liar but no never, the mirrors don’t lie.

*Legacy*

When my time arrives,

I shall smile with peace and take a backdoor exit.

I don’t want my people to crib and cry;

I want them to remember me as a guy-

who had a heart.

A heart which melted to see the injustice,

A heart which cried to witness inhumanity,

A heart which bled on brutal deaths,

A heart which throbbed for her sweetheart.

A heart which smiled at the dusk and the dawn,

A heart which jumped with the carefree fawn.

A heart which beat for the orphan crying,

A heart which took her home and made her feel fine.

A heart which hurt no one ever,

A heart which was innocent and not cunning, clever.

A heart which had emotions brewing…

A heart which was sweet, nice and caring,

A heart which had a spirit-never-dying,

A heart which had a heart underlying.

*I shall write you off*

I washed my skin and rubbed and rubbed,

Cheeks which you kissed and the body that you hugged

I pleaded the wind to blow off your scent

The scent of your breath, away from me.

I brushed the towel hard, to soak off your love

And I hung myself in the heat of sun.

And to cleanse my insides, I shall write you off.

With the ink I’ll paint the pages black.

Scribble out your memories from the insides of my soul.

I shall write and write and accept it more.

With every penned word, I’ll send you away… away from me

And let the remnants of you, sail away free.